


Border Song

by writingformadderton



Series: Rocketman-Based on our fantasy [5]
Category: Madderton, Rocketman - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Caring, Comfort, Couch Cuddles, Cuddles, Fluff, Friendship, Homesickness, Mention of Panic Attacks, Other, Sleepy Cuddles, Smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 21:16:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21224330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingformadderton/pseuds/writingformadderton
Summary: Richard moved to Los Angeles and starts doubting if it was the right choice. When the insecurity gets to much for him he decides to call his best friend. Taron tries to comfort him which doesn´t really works over the phone. So he decides to visit Los Angeles and take care of his best friend himself.





	Border Song

It was a stressful day on set for Taron as he had to shoot a few scenes. He’s been busy all day and cannot wait to sit down in his trailer and relax. T eagerly opens the door and secures the lock, walking over to his bed. He grabs his phone and checks his notifications, seeing he missed a call from his best friend. Lying down, he calls back and listens to the dial tone. Taron closes his eyes and relaxes against his pillow. After a little while, Rich answers. “Hey, Rich. I am so sorry. I’ve been stuck at work the entire day.” he starts to explain but gets cut off by his best mate. 

“It’s okay, T.” Richard says tiredly. “You shouldn’t plan your life so it can fit for me.”

“Are you alright mate?” Taron asks and sits up immediately when hearing the tiredness in his voice. Richard normally kept himself well rested and knew his limits. Was something wrong?

“Not really.” he admits quietly and rubs his face. 

“Did something happen to you? Where are you?” Taron begins to worry and runs his fingers through his hair. His mind was racing with questions. What happened to his best friend? Was he safe?

“I’m at the apartment, don’t worry. I’m just not feeling well at the moment.” Richard speaks and sighs. He stares down at his hand and bites his lip. How could he explain his current situation? T would call him an idiot and tell him to get himself together. 

“What’s wrong, Rich?” T asks with a softness in his voice. Was he sick or more so homesick? He might already know the answer, but he wants to hear it from Richard himself. 

“It’s stupid. How was your day?” Richard tries to change the subject as he sits down on the sofa and looks around his apartment. He needs a distraction. 

“Richard.” Taron says warningly and hopes it’ll open him up. If there was one thing he hated, it’s when he knew something was wrong but he couldn’t get a straight answer from the person suffering. It makes him feel useless and unable to help when he could. 

“It’s just dumb. I’ve been here for two weeks now and I feel like giving up already.” Richard leans back into his little sofa and tucks his legs up. He rests his chin on his knees and stares out the window. His beautiful view over Los Angeles doesn’t make it better or cheers him up in any way. 

“What makes you wanna give up?” Taron puts him on speaker and gets out of bed to change his clothes. It’s about time to change into comfy clothes. 

Richard thinks, staying silent for a while. His eyes tear away from the view out of the window. “I just feel like I don’t belong here.” he swallows. 

“Do you think it’s a temporary feeling, something you can shake after a while? Or you think it’s a permanent feeling?” Taron slides his jumper onto his body and collapses on his bed, burying his face in the pillow. God, he is so exhausted after the long day. His head is pounding and his back aches from standing around all day. 

“Don’t know.” Rich buries his face in his hands groaning. 

Taron bites his lip hearing Rich groan, he sounds so helpless. “Hm okay.” T mumbles and thinks about how he could help his friend. All he wants is for Rich to feel good about himself. 

“I feel like a complete outsider here. Takes me back to the old days in school and that drives me crazy.” Rich confesses hesitantly and regrets it immediately. But it was too late. He spilled something, something dark that was racing through his mind. Now all he could do was wait for Taron as if he knew the Welsh was thinking of a fitting answer. 

“You need some time to fit in and I know you’re gonna do great. I know it’s hard at the beginning, but it’ll get easier.” T says and rolls onto his back. Of course, this brings up some dark memories. Being alone and fighting for his job in a familiar but relatively new place. It’s normal to feel like he doesn’t fit in there. Taron feared this would stir up some old feelings within Richard that he knew were still around deep down. Some wounds are too deep to heal without leaving scars, which take you back whenever you look at them. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay? Everything’s gonna be fine.”

“I know. I told you it’s stupid.” Rich sighs and lies back on his sofa, staring at the ceiling. 

Taron shakes his head and rubs his face. “It’s not stupid, Dickie. I understand your fear. You’re not alone in this kind of thing.” he assures him and grabs his calendar on the bedside table. 

“I know.” The Scott mumbles and closes his eyes. Without even noticing, he begins to take deep breaths, controlling his beating heart. Taron starts talking again and his voice calms him down. With closed eyes, it feels as if he was at home just hanging out with his best friend. He feels himself relaxing. 

“Rich, I know it’s a change and it’s hard to cope with at first. But you were given a huge opportunity and it would be such a waste to throw it away.” Taron keeps looking through his calendar and takes some notes. “And you are an amazing actor, you really are. It would be a shame to waste your talent by not using it.”

Richard chuckles weakly. “Stop it.” he shakes his head in amusement. It’s cute of Taron to say that he’s amazing, but deep down he doesn’t believe it. He just sees himself much differently and amazing wasn’t a word he would use to describe himself. 

“No I won’t because I’m telling you the truth and I want you to see that.” Taron knows exactly what’s going on in Richard’s head. He knows how insecure Rich is and all the things people said to him become buried in his thoughts. If there are several people telling you you’re worthless, you start to believe it. And it’s much harder to believe in compliments when you’re used to insults. 

“Sure.” Rich sighs and starts tapping a rhythm on the sofa with his fingers. Ugly memories start to float around his mind and he feels like drowning. He sits up and stares at his hands. 

“Rich?” he hears Taron’s voice from far away and tries to focus. 

All the pictures of things he thought he buried are coming up again and steal his breath. It’s like someone flipped a switch in his head and brought everything back. “Huh?” he whines slightly and buries his face in his sweaty, shaking hands. His heart races uncontrollably and he feels dizzy. 

“Take deep breaths and sit down. It’s gonna be okay.” T says softly and listens closely to Richard’s shaky breathing. It wasn’t the first time this happened, so Taron knew exactly what to do. “I’m here Rich, take your time.”

Richard leans forward, his face still buried in his hands. He takes deep, shaky breaths and tries to fight against the dark memories. “I just wanna go back home.” he groans and feels his heartbeat getting a bit steadier again. 

“Focus on your breathing.” Taron says and looks back down at his calendar with all his future appointments. After tomorrow, he has free time for two weeks. That would be enough time to visit Rich and cheer him up a bit. 

Richard’s body calms down enough for him to pretend he’s okay again. “I’m sorry, T. Don’t worry too much about me.” he lies and tries to hold back all the fear rising in his chest.

Taron frowns and looks up. What? “You’re my best friend, Dickie. Of course I’m gonna worry and take it seriously.” Rich remains silent and T feels himself getting a bit irritated. “Listen, after tomorrow, I have a two week break. I could take the next flight and spend some time with you.”

“You shouldn’t waste your holiday with me. Do something that’s good for you and get some rest.” Richard says rather quickly, hoping T would take it as he said. 

“It’s not a waste to spend time with you.” The Welsh defends and looks down at his phone irritated. What was wrong now? Usually, Rich was happy whenever they got a chance to do something together. What made him so unsure of himself?

“I have to go, I’m gonna text you when I have time.” he says and ends the call before T can say anything else. Taron knows he was lying. 

T groans and lies down again. He worries about Rich and tries to call him again, but it goes straight to voicemail. Taron sighs and closes his eyes, letting his tiredness take over, but he can’t seem to get comfortable to sleep fully. 

Richard paces around his apartment, a lit cigarette in his hand. Usually, he goes out to the balcony or outside because he hates to get the smell everywhere in his apartment. But today it’s the last thing on his mind, clearly evident as he only has a window open. He takes the last draw and puts it out into the ashtray sitting on the table. Richard groans and rubs his face when he sees all the cigarettes he’s already smoked. It’s the only thing that calms his mind at the moment and he knows he should stop. 15 within the hour is more than enough. He looks at the pack laying on the table and grunts. He lights another to help him fight his upcoming panic attack. 

Three days later, Taron hasn’t heard anything from Rich and his text messages had gone ignored. His worries heightened and he decided to take a trip to LA. He books the next flight and packs his things. 

Meanwhile, Richard has fought through several panic attacks as the casting for an upcoming movie got closer with each passing day. His ashtray is overflowing with cigarette buds, various empty packs lying around it. He hasn’t slept properly in days and turned his phone off so he could focus on getting himself out of his hole. His body screams for help and the pounding headache and stitching stomachache just wouldn’t go away. Rich sits down on the sofa with a grunt and buries his face in his hands. Groaning, he tries to ignore the pain and torturous thoughts. It’s a rainy day today, a storm on its way through the town. That will make his night only worse. His doorbell ripping through the silence makes him jump up. Who was that?

Richard opens the door and his heart jumps when he sees his visitor. His best friend smiles and his dimples indent in his cheeks. “Hey, T.” he says tiredly.

Taron’s blueish green eyes soften and he opens his arms. “You look like absolute shit.” he states and pulls him into a hug. 

“Always so nice and polite.” Rich chuckles weakly and buries his face in his neck. He takes in the sweet scent of Taron and feels right at home. “I told you, you don’t have to come.” he mumbles weakly. 

“Well when you don’t write me in three days, I start to wonder if you’re alive.” Taron says and holds him tight, stroking over his back. 

Rich silently wishes he would shut up and just comfort him. He just wants to stop the world and stay in his best friend’s arms. But the storm was progressing and T had a long flight over. He lets go of him and leads him into the apartment. 

“Oh you’ve been busy.” T says and nods towards the table full of empty cigarette boxes and an overflowing ashtray. Richard chuckles tiredly and puts T’s suitcase into the bedroom. As long as he is here, Rich would sleep on the sofa. “How many?” Taron asks and Richard stills. 

“Seven since you called me.” he admits slowly and bites his lip. He must look like a total idiot in Taron’s eyes. Seven panic attacks in three days. 

“And how many did you fight back?” he asks examining the table, knowing it’s Richard’s tool to stop and panic and fear a bit. The Scottish man falls down onto the sofa and sighs. 

“Three.” Rich mumbles and stares down at the floor. 

Taron takes a sharp breath. Seven panic attacks in only 3 days. “We’re gonna find a way to cope with this here.”

“Could you do me a favor and stop talking?” Rich looks at him with big pleading eyes that makes Taron’s heart hurt. “I’m sorry my head is pounding.”

Taron sits down next to him and pats his lap. “I think you could use some cuddle time.”

Richard gets up and sits on his lap. He rests his head on his chest and curls up against T. Taron softly rubs his back and plays with his hair. “I’m sorry, Taron.”

“No reason to be sorry.” Taron assures him and his fingers play with the signature grey streak in his best friend’s hair. 

They talk a bit but Rich is fighting his own tiredness soon enough. He is calm and relaxed in Taron’s arms and realizes how much sleep he lost over the last few days. 

“I’m just so tired.” Rich admits when T asks him if everything is okay.

“I’m here now, you can sleep in peace.” The Welsh watches Rich closing his beautiful blue eyes and falling asleep in his arms. T could see the dark circles under his eyes and is not surprised Rich is fast asleep right now. Taron tilts carefully and lies down fully on the sofa. He puts a pillow under Richard’s head and wraps his arms around him. Rich opens his eyes confused over the sudden movements. “Shh get some rest.” T says and puts a blanket over them. 

“Thank you for being here.” Richard whispers and buries his face in his chest. He falls into a deep sleep fast.


End file.
